圣诞实在过了一次，因为天气很差，自己有总有健康问题，没有去教堂。大部分时间在医院里，

发现自己很迟钝，居然不知道大老远过来的人其实在这个时候会很想家的，即使那个家并不见得会有多温暖。

时间积累的体验不会抹杀。

有他亲自给我做圣诞的晚餐，虽然之间又哭了一次，不明白自己怎么会突然之间老哭鼻子。说不清楚为什么那么伤心，怀抱也没有办法止住。

Lana的文字，还有他的一举一动，在证明着说过的话。

很慷慨的爱心，反衬出我有时多么冷酷。不知道是环境还是自己的选择。

明年这个时候，我会说什么？

what prompted me to write this entry is a comment in the website dedicated for the merman(should be mermaid, but he is a baby boy, so ..) to the effect that since the baby may never have a normal life, and is abandoned, and would cost oodles' money to even keep him alive, why not use the resources in a wiser way by , say, save other kids who have a better chance of life.

and the other story is told in a program "talk as it is". it is about a father and his son who the dr said would not survive his 19th birthday. and this father is doing nothing but travelling to all the cities his son wants to visit. and when he was asked what kept him go on, despite the death warrant, he said because his son is a life, and he cherishes his life.

the last story is about sheer comtempt on life. two skinheads and one woman, assulted the innocant bus driver, and the 27 passengers remained silent, no one dialed the emergency number. before evil, few people dares to stand out, at the risk of their dear life. and this perfect paradox is similar to egg and chicken.

can life be weighed and compared? if life is of the same weight, why people would say some lives are worth saving while some others do not?

maybe there is a scale in everyone's mind, whether it is a balance or not is up to individual.